“You believe a man can change his destiny?”
“I think a man does what he can, until his destiny is revealed.” (The Last Samurai)
With an impending battle against insurmountable odds, Katsumoto believed his end to be decided. However, Algren made Katsumoto realize that he was in control of his fate. With that one line, Algren instilled agency in Katsumoto.
Agency, the belief that one has control over their destiny, is one of the most powerful gifts we can give our children. No one can firmly take control of their life until they believe it is possible. This can mean the difference between excellence and mediocrity. This is life changing mindset, but how do we create this sense of empowerment in our children?
Naturally, children have big aspirations. Instead of just letting their dreams fly away with the wind, challenge them to create a plan on how to become the president, a pilot, a star athlete, etc. This will show them that small steps can lead to huge changes and lead them on the path they want.
This is a powerful lesson video games can teach. Often, in games, we try something, fail, try a new approach, then succeed. At these moments, be sure to sit down and have a conversation with your child about strategy and why they succeeded.
Be sure to reward good behavior and highlight how their actions led to good consequences. This can be as little as putting a dish in the dishwasher to cleaning their room. By showing that even smallest actions can lead to positive outcomes, they can build upon this knowledge and move on to bigger and better things.
Does your child struggle with connecting the dots between actions and consequences? How did you instill agency in your children? What changes have you seen in their behavior since they understood they have control over their lives?