I ran into a couple of lovely ladies the other night and we visited a variety of subjects as we toasted to a few tasty adult beverages. One such subject was teaching our children to date.
I believe that all skills are learnable, but for some odd reason, we are often expected to figure this one out. But, why is this subject fly under the radar? We should want our children to be strong and prepared for every aspect of their lives. Why would dating be any different?
I’ve come up with some guidelines to help smoothen this parent/child conversation.
1) Don’t make this about sex. Yes, sex may be (more accurately is for some) the key motivating factor to date, but we aren’t talking about the birds and the bees here. Our focus is on process, not the touching of special body parts. Save that fun for another day.
2) Distinguish between reality and fiction (media). If 50 Shades of Grey or Twilight are the primary sources of information for your child. Just think on that for a moment…
3) If possible, break this up into sessions and not a session. Haste leads to waste.
4) Be open and honest. It’s natural to have an attraction to other people and to say otherwise is detrimental. At the same time, it’s normal to be nervous or have doubts about another’s feelings or intentions. This can be a point where you and your child connect on a deeper level.
5) Check your feeling at the door. They’ll be waiting for you when your done.
6) Invite open conversations. Children will seek satisfaction to their curiosity. Do you really want them looking to their peers or to the Internet to quench their thirst?
7) Have fun!
How should we go about teaching our children to date? What did your parents do?