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On one of my many walking exhibitions with my mother, we got into a deep conversation about the people we choose to have in our lives. This conversation happened to be centered around my dating life (more accurately, lack there of) and my mother questioned why I hadn’t gotten into a serious relationship in a while.

Part of the problem is that I do not believe in keeping toxic people in my life. At a young age, she warned me about “red flags” and to not ignore them. Early red flags send me running for the hills.

There are many important life skills that we need to acquire as children. One of those skills is recognizing, and then cutting toxic people from our lives. However, how can children learn to do this?

We need to have our children ask questions and answer them honestly. How do you feel when a person is around you? Do you feel good, happy, sad, drained, etc? Do they want to change you as a person? Are they happy for you when you have a success? Do they cheer you up when your sad? Do they give more than they take? Do they put you down a lot?

Conversely, this cannot be a self-centered endeavor. Do you want to give them as much as they give you? Do you respect their decisions when they disagree with you? Do you trust them when they speak? Do you enjoy listening to them?

Our children need to know that it is not okay for someone to mistreat them, regardless of how long that person has been in their life. True, we all have our moments, but there’s no excuse for repeated offenses. By establishing boundaries and pointing out when people cross the line, they can teach their friends how to treat them.

Have your children told you about friends that treat them poorly? What did you say? How did they handle the situation?