Why do we persecute people for not wanting to have kids? Why do we question parents for having desires outside of their children? Why is it other people’s business how you parent? How is criticism like this constructive?
In a Pew Research survey conducted in 2010, adults (18-29) value parenthood over marriage. In conclusion, many value the existence of hypothetical people over the existence and maturation of relationships in the present. When we walk around with this mindset, it seems perfectly natural to find it unnatural that someone would value the reverse.
We’ve entered an odd time. People are hypersensitive about everything. Yet, people are all to ready to condemn ideas different from their own. In The New York Times, Ayelet Waldman wrote an article entitled, Truth, Madly, Guiltily (2005) where she stated that she loves her husband more than she loves her kids. The center of her passionate universe was her husband.
Personally, I see nothing wrong with her view. Her husband (hopefully) was the one supplying her with intellectual stimulation, adventure, perhaps even political debate and sex, so this seems perfectly reasonable to me. The worst part is that she said it out loud, and her children know they come second.
Have people given you unsolicited advice in your marriage and/or parenting? How did you handle it?